my emotional excess

Been quite some time since the last time I wrote in this blog.

I've been spending my time more drawing and I don't know why.

I usually wait until the emotional excess becomes unbearable before finally sat myself down in front of the computer and start writing. Simply because there will be nothing else I can do but writing, if I want to keep my sanity intact. This time, however, it doesn't seem to work that way.

All the emotions are welling up, but I just couldn't make my self to form a sentence. It's as if words have failed me, more than ever.

Right now, I'm in the middle of that chaotic emotions, perfectly developed into a quiet dark clouds ready to burst into storms inside me. Some of the emotions I can recognize, some are completely new and strange. And I have a feeling that writing it down would be very scary. I still have to do that sooner or later, but right now I think the wisest thing to do is to grab a pencil and a sheet of paper, and start drawing. Anything but words.

I feel so scared that I just want to hide my head under the pillow and sleep. But I know it will only get worse tomorrow if I don't deal with it. So this blog post is simply to loosen up myself a bit before scratching anything on paper.

If you're one of the people like me who have too many relentless thoughts in their head, you'd know what I'm talking about. And if you're not, then perhaps you'd be thinking that you're reading a crazy girl's diary, which is actually fine by me. But really, if you are one of those like me, please send me your silent prayer that I'll be just fine.

I really need it.

Thanks.