confession

The thing about admitting your feeling toward someone 
is not about who the person is, or who you are
and what should you become

It's more likely about being true to yourself


It's a matter of having the courage to acknowledge
whatever feeling you have inside you
To realize
that you are capable of feeling even the most impossible feeling


And in the end
It's about being humble enough to acknowledge
that it is a blessing, and not a sin
because you are being honest
and true to yourself

Infatuation

Do you notice the 'foolish' in there?

I do.

And here's why it is different from love:

	Infatuation	Love
Associated with:	Physical outlook	Emotionally and intellectually compatible
Sub-Categories:	Physical desire, crush, or lust.	Romantic Love, Attachment, Passion, intimacy, commitment
Feelings associated with:	Extreme happiness	a euphoric feeling
Interdependency:	Cannot be sustained without some portion of love and physical attraction.	Cannot be sustained without communication and some level of physical attraction.
Meaning:	A feeling of being in love with another person.	A tender, passionate affection for another person.
Definition:	Infatuation is the state of being completely carried away by unreasoning passion or love.	Constellation of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection or profound oneness
Attribute:	wants the same feeling in return.	Not expecting anything in return and desiring the best for the other person
Symptoms:	urgency, intensity, sexual desire, anxiety	Connection of your soul with someone else's. It's settling your differences, dealing with conflicts as one person, not two separate entities.
Person to Person:		Making it work for both involved

I know what it means.

Doesn't mean I'm getting any better handling it.

Oh words, where have you gone.

Sunday night, 

Incoherent me

Instinctively (Yoon Jong-Shin)

(This is the English translation of the lyrics. Simply beautiful. I’m sure it is much more beautiful in its original language)

I felt it instinctively
that you will be my lover.
I can’t forget the shiver that went through me,
the first time I laid my eyes on you.
Oh-oh-oh

I don’t know whether you’re a good person.
I’m just madly attracted.
Even if it might be a hasty conclusion,
It seems like it’s love.
Oh-oh-oh

I will believe her, whom I have chosen,
That night that I had chosen.
Whether it will be the greatest love of my life,
Or the beginning of a crazy love…
We could only find out after we try it.
Shall we begin our love now?
Oh-oh-oh

Rap:
I saw you while driving,
And almost had an accident.
The light turned green,
I did a “go” towards you.
Like a magnet, I’m attracted to your S-line.
Unknowingly, I drool a little.
Don’t misunderstand; I’m not a shallow person.
It’s instinct that makes love possible.
Whether by accident or by fate, I stand in front of you.
Please leave calculations to the bank.

I will believe her, whom I have chosen,
That night that I had chosen.
I can’t forget that night that I had chosen,
That blissful moment.
Whether it’s the greatest love of my life,
Or the beginning of a crazy love…
I won’t ever regret it.
Shall we begin our love now?
Oh-oh-oh

(Video taken from Youtube, lyrics from here)

Somehow this song reminds me of Haruki Murakami’s short story “On seeing the 100% perfect girl one beautiful April morning” (you can read the short story here).

They both talk about that particular feeling that comes over you when you meet or see certain someone for the first time. The particular feeling that tells you that somehow, for some reason, this person means something to you.

You cannot pinpoint why. You just know it. Instinctively.

*yeah and don’t ask me how it feels because I’ve never have that :)*