This is one of those moments when punching a solid wall seems to be an appropriate, justified action, for the sake of sanity.
I can almost see myself listing down a few things as justifications before walking to the nearest wall here inside my house and land a punch wholeheartedly to it. Bruised knuckles are expected. But for a moment it felt like worth it. All the reasons I'd listed down, seemed to deserve the bruised knuckles. Just like the innocent walls deserve a punch, simply for standing there solid, calm and composed, unmoved by the struggling I'm having right in front of their faces.
If, walls ever have faces.
The thing is, they don't. And that negates all the reasons I was about to list down earlier. And finally cancelled it because, well simply, because walls are innocent.
I never wish I'm not who I am now. I've learned to love being who I truly am, accepting the fact that I might have to live the rest of my life being misunderstood by people around me.
To those who don't, I really thank you all. And I'm really grateful to God for letting me to have such people like you around me, though there aren't many of you out there.
To those who do, I don't blame you. You are just as innocent as the walls. You cannot be guilty for standing there solid and confident, believing what you believe and seeing the world through your eyes. It's your eyes anyway. You cannot possibly guilty either for being ignorant to the fact that there are other humankind seeing the world through different eyes. The same world, just through different eyes. Or, to be more precise, different from yours.
I know it's never about who's to blame. And I never wish for the world to be different.
I just wish that it wouldn't hurt so much to be misunderstood.